Have you ever noticed how some people assume that if they don’t have something, no one else does either? Li Jiage is a classic example of this mindset.
In episode 8 of Daughter and Mother, there’s a revealing moment after Li Jiage and her mother, Bo Yongxia, clash over her grandmother. Huang Shengyi frankly comments that Li Jiage seems to lack love. She also suggests that Yongxia herself hasn’t received enough love either, which might explain why she’s so fixated on Li Jiage’s marriage.
When Li Jiage asks Huang Shengyi whether her own mother needs that kind of love, it opens up an interesting perspective. Li Jiage believes that Deng Chuanli, Huang’s mother, is very rational and independent, so she probably doesn’t require much emotional support nor would she obsess over her daughter’s marriage. The implied point here is that the root problem lies with Yongxia—not because she lacks love, but because she isn’t strong or independent enough.
Huang Shengyi’s reply is both clever and telling. She says, “Maybe you don’t know my father well. He gives 100%…” but then stops to show a video she took earlier that day. Curious, Li Jiage asks if her dad provides her with emotional support. The underlying implication is that Deng Chuanli might not offer enough emotional value to Huang Shengyi, but her father’s presence fills that gap.
Huang Shengyi then explains that her dad was actually giving her mom a massage—an act of care that demonstrates affection. Li Jiage has to admit, “Your mom definitely has love.” Huang Shengyi goes on to say that because her father gives so much love, she believes people first need to receive love themselves before they can truly give it to others.
What Huang Shengyi is really pointing out is clear: both Yongxia and Li Jiage are seeking emotional support from each other because neither has received sufficient love from their own husbands. Although the show doesn’t highlight much about Huang’s father, the importance of a present husband or father figure in a family can be seen through Chen Meng’s family.
The show’s preview featured four families preparing for a trip. As soon as Chen Meng’s father appears, he is busy cooking and decorating the table to celebrate his wife Pang Min’s birthday. Chen Meng gave her mom an orange jacket, and her dad’s gift—a yellow crystal bracelet—perfectly matched hers. He even personally put it on Pang Min. The father also brought flowers for his daughter, showering them with emotional warmth.
Chen Meng’s dad is incredibly thoughtful. He spends three hours making homemade tofu pudding for her and pays close attention to the little things—he knows exactly how many bites she takes of each dish. Beyond daily care, he even studies psychology to better understand and communicate with his daughter, providing her with a deep sense of security.
Before they leave, he helps pack, making sure even the snacks and medicines are organized. When it’s time to go, he accompanies his wife and daughter downstairs, carries the luggage into the car, and bids them a reluctant farewell, only heading back upstairs once the car has disappeared from view.
In the latest episode, after Chen Meng finishes her stand-up performance, she video-calls her dad. Her mom asks him how he thinks Chen Meng did. He says if she remembers the jokes, the show should go well. Pang Min jokes that Chen Meng hardly prepared and that she’s nervous for her daughter’s confidence. Her father explains that her talent isn’t just confidence—there’s genuine skill involved.
He’s not blindly biased either. When Pang Min mentions Chen Meng’s joke about their “red face and white face” parenting style, he praises his daughter, saying her humor is sharp and accurate. This makes both women happy. Moments like these can’t be faked—they show a truly close and loving family, one that viewers naturally envy.
Now, how do Li Jiage’s father and husband compare? During a live stream, Yongxia calls Li Jiage repeatedly. Surprisingly, her father doesn’t try to calm things down but instead calls Li Jiage to tell her her mother is looking for her. When Li Jiage returns and helps make dumplings, he disappears again, leaving the mother and daughter with just a helper.
What role does Li Jiage’s husband play? Mostly, he judges Yongxia and echoes Li Jiage’s criticisms, setting a tone that frames Yongxia negatively on the show. He claims Li Jiage loves her mother deeply and is very sensitive—her emotions are easily triggered by anything Yongxia says. According to him, Yongxia often speaks carelessly, causing Li Jiage to overthink.
After giving his “verdict,” he reminds everyone to have a smooth trip and avoid fighting. Li Jiage obediently agrees, but soon tension rises again as the two women argue over every detail. Yongxia grows upset and asks Li Jiage to stop talking. Her husband chimes in, sarcastically noting that the drama starts even before they leave. When the quarrel escalates, he hides quietly in the kitchen, silent and uninvolved.
Later, he fans the flames by saying Li Jiage often cries alone in her room, and Yongxia doesn’t even realize it. He expresses worry that Li Jiage bears the brunt of Yongxia’s anger, claiming only Li Jiage can feel the emotional strain. This attitude partly fuels the public perception that Yongxia bullies Li Jiage.
But here’s the question: As Li Jiage’s husband, does he not know what harsh words his mother-in-law said to his wife’s mother? As Yongxia’s husband, does he not see that she was upset when her in-laws refused to arrange transport for his disabled father? Yet he sides against Yongxia, thinking she’s the problem?
From this angle, Li Jiage might resemble her father more than anyone else. Both women in this family likely have their issues, but the two men seem to only stir conflict rather than resolve it.
Later episodes reveal even more tensions caused by these men’s passivity. Personally, I don’t believe a family must have men to be happy. But if men are part of the family, their presence matters. It’s crucial they take responsibility and show love to their spouse and children.
If a man is invisible, leaving all burdens and conflicts to the women, what’s the point of marriage? Surely it’s not just for show. And some people aren’t exactly pleasant to have around—if they were just decorations at home, that would be a bit scary, wouldn’t it?
